I thought you were going to talk about how having children means that reading time is hard to manage (it is for me anyway and I find the topic interesting, although I don’t see many people speaking about it), but what I found instead is extraordinarily powerful. Thank you!
Sometimes it helps! Occasionally my son asks if we can both read our own books rather than me reading him a bedtime story, so I'm basically forced into reading while he reads for as long as he wants (this is good for me, obviously).
This is something I have also noticed and thought a lot about. I am a mother of a large family, and my children were born over a span of 22 years, between 2002 to 2024. I have never ever seen a woman like me represented in literature or film, except as a sort of harried side character. The experience OF being a mother to many, never. And in the nearly 24 years since I first became a mother, I have observed the open disdain for children has become more pronounced and socially acceptable. Particularly since the pandemic it seems that the default expectation of many people is that they will never have to see a child and they are righteously offended if they do. Some of these same people also seem to idolize their own childhoods, which is especially strange.
I mean, *I* think so. Going through the ardors of pregnancy and childbirth more than half a dozen times, encountering and falling in love with each child as an individual, and also running the whole parenting gamut of newborn to young adult simultaneously…while also being a person with an active interior life of my own. I would read that book. Hopefully someone will write it, haha.
Ah, that IS true. I haven’t seen the older one since I was a child myself. The newer one with Steve Martin was, if I recall correctly, from the father and teenage children’s perspective (which is why I think it doesn’t feel memorable to me as something from a mother’s point of view) and did somehow come across as portraying a household of 12 only children rather than a realistic and integrated large family—I suppose that would be hard to communicate through film, though.
I was going to say that better than teach your children how to complain there are reruns of Eight is Enough, Brady Bunch, the Waltons, and any number of big family TV shows. We have complainers enough.
I realized we are talking about different things. I’m not referring to the lack of wholesome larger families being represented onscreen, but how I would love to see more deep exploration of motherhood (especially in literary fiction)—from the mother’s perspective. I’m not afraid my children will suffer from lack of exposure to large families on TV. They haven’t watched a ton of TV anyway and they know real life families like ours.
Before I became a mother, I disliked thinking or talking about childbirth or reproduction or babies -- something unsettling about it. But after I took the leap and gave birth to my daughter it was like a portal to a new universe opened up. Being pregnant and giving birth are the only things I can think of that I've experienced that compare to sex and romantic infatuation in how primal and nonverbal and earth shattering it is...nor are there suitable words to describe my all-consuming love (obsession?) for my child.
I guess my theory is, something about these primal aspects of human nature seem to terrify humans. Esp pregnancy and birth. Our overly rational verbal society doesn't know what to do with it.
The Penderwicks and Vanderbeekers are both delightful modern series with lots of siblings...I hadn't heard of The Millstone (American here!) and am adding it to my list.
This is excellent - and riveting to read the section from the Drabble novel. The creative surge of parenthood is something also to write about — how everything changes.
Interesting post it could read it all till finish even though it is a long article. Yes motherhood is very divine and sacred a mother loves her child without expecting anything in return. I myself a mother of two little daughters of 4 and 5 year old. They just add so much joy in my life and I live for them love them.
My mother, who had four children, went to grad school when I was in high school and wrote her master’s thesis on Margaret Drabble. One lesson she taught me implicitly was that serious writing is incompatible with motherhood. In retrospect I think she liked the idea of writing more than the practice and had nothing she needed to say.
It's been a while since I read the Last Samurai, but I remember thinking it was fantastic (and good on the difficulties of motherhood, although I was a long way from being a parent when I read it).
There is recent children's fiction depicting multiple siblings, but it is American rather than British. In the 1990s, my siblings and I loved E. Nesbitt's novels - author of the classic siblings series, the Melendy Quartet: The Saturdays, The Four-Story Mistake, Then There Were Five, A Spiderweb For Two. We didn't really realize that Nesbitt's WWII/post-war era books were rising 50, as there had been nothing to succeed them in the genre - we also loved The Railway Children and Louisa May Alcott's Little Women, not to mention The Little House on the Prairie series, but disliked most of the award-winning gritty children's classics depicting lonely protagonists of the '60s, '70s and '80s: Where the Red Fern Grows, Bridge to Terebithia, Jacob Have I Loved, etc. I have learned from my young relatives of two recent series, The Penderwicks and The Vanderbeekers, that are worthy successors to Nesbitt. So the 21st century has actually seen a popular revival of the siblings-as-protagonists genre in children's fiction.
Hope you enjoy them. I just realized my brain got children's authors mixed - it was Elizabeth Enright who wrote the Melendy Quartet, she also wrote Gone-Away Lake and Return to Gone-Away, which were just as fun.
Lovely essay! I was surprised by how much pushback Sam got for what seems to me like a pretty accurate observation about the general scope of fiction in English. Your essay reminded me of Betty Smith's Joy in the Morning, which now I'd love to re-read.
As an only child, I used to live vicariously through books where there were multiple siblings, like the Narnia books or The Boxcar Children. It's sad to see that starting to disappear little by little, especially when you think about the imaginative worlds that children can create together.
Enid Bagnold, The Squire. It's about motherhood, a large family and giving birth. Striking because it is very unusual though. I like the Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver - but that's about someone who adopts a baby by accident. Going to be picky - I love Diana Wynne Jones' writing, but she's a writer for children, and lots of children's writers write well about children!
I thought you were going to talk about how having children means that reading time is hard to manage (it is for me anyway and I find the topic interesting, although I don’t see many people speaking about it), but what I found instead is extraordinarily powerful. Thank you!
oh thank you! well yes everything gets more time scarce with children but what is there to say? Teach them to read so you can too?
Sometimes it helps! Occasionally my son asks if we can both read our own books rather than me reading him a bedtime story, so I'm basically forced into reading while he reads for as long as he wants (this is good for me, obviously).
Actually, I did, too. I have a friend with two babies, and I was ready to send it to him. Still, good stuff.
This is something I have also noticed and thought a lot about. I am a mother of a large family, and my children were born over a span of 22 years, between 2002 to 2024. I have never ever seen a woman like me represented in literature or film, except as a sort of harried side character. The experience OF being a mother to many, never. And in the nearly 24 years since I first became a mother, I have observed the open disdain for children has become more pronounced and socially acceptable. Particularly since the pandemic it seems that the default expectation of many people is that they will never have to see a child and they are righteously offended if they do. Some of these same people also seem to idolize their own childhoods, which is especially strange.
And yet a life like yours is rich in narrative potential!
I mean, *I* think so. Going through the ardors of pregnancy and childbirth more than half a dozen times, encountering and falling in love with each child as an individual, and also running the whole parenting gamut of newborn to young adult simultaneously…while also being a person with an active interior life of my own. I would read that book. Hopefully someone will write it, haha.
You could be that person to write it. I would read it for sure.
That is incredibly kind. I am not a writer though!
Cheaper By the Dozen has been made into two hit movies. The first is better.
Ah, that IS true. I haven’t seen the older one since I was a child myself. The newer one with Steve Martin was, if I recall correctly, from the father and teenage children’s perspective (which is why I think it doesn’t feel memorable to me as something from a mother’s point of view) and did somehow come across as portraying a household of 12 only children rather than a realistic and integrated large family—I suppose that would be hard to communicate through film, though.
I was going to say that better than teach your children how to complain there are reruns of Eight is Enough, Brady Bunch, the Waltons, and any number of big family TV shows. We have complainers enough.
I realized we are talking about different things. I’m not referring to the lack of wholesome larger families being represented onscreen, but how I would love to see more deep exploration of motherhood (especially in literary fiction)—from the mother’s perspective. I’m not afraid my children will suffer from lack of exposure to large families on TV. They haven’t watched a ton of TV anyway and they know real life families like ours.
I’m not teaching my children to complain…?
Before I became a mother, I disliked thinking or talking about childbirth or reproduction or babies -- something unsettling about it. But after I took the leap and gave birth to my daughter it was like a portal to a new universe opened up. Being pregnant and giving birth are the only things I can think of that I've experienced that compare to sex and romantic infatuation in how primal and nonverbal and earth shattering it is...nor are there suitable words to describe my all-consuming love (obsession?) for my child.
I guess my theory is, something about these primal aspects of human nature seem to terrify humans. Esp pregnancy and birth. Our overly rational verbal society doesn't know what to do with it.
The Penderwicks and Vanderbeekers are both delightful modern series with lots of siblings...I hadn't heard of The Millstone (American here!) and am adding it to my list.
I will check those out thank you
This is excellent - and riveting to read the section from the Drabble novel. The creative surge of parenthood is something also to write about — how everything changes.
Great section from Drabble. What a writer she was (& still is, amazingly).
Interesting post it could read it all till finish even though it is a long article. Yes motherhood is very divine and sacred a mother loves her child without expecting anything in return. I myself a mother of two little daughters of 4 and 5 year old. They just add so much joy in my life and I live for them love them.
My mother, who had four children, went to grad school when I was in high school and wrote her master’s thesis on Margaret Drabble. One lesson she taught me implicitly was that serious writing is incompatible with motherhood. In retrospect I think she liked the idea of writing more than the practice and had nothing she needed to say.
It's been a while since I read the Last Samurai, but I remember thinking it was fantastic (and good on the difficulties of motherhood, although I was a long way from being a parent when I read it).
Yes v much
Hilary McKay and Emma Donoghue also write terrific children’s books about larger families.
I read The Millstone when I was a young mother over 40 years ago- that particular scene is so powerful and memorable.
Fay Weldon wrote about larger families, and so did Penelope Mortimer, but they’re not contemporary.
There is recent children's fiction depicting multiple siblings, but it is American rather than British. In the 1990s, my siblings and I loved E. Nesbitt's novels - author of the classic siblings series, the Melendy Quartet: The Saturdays, The Four-Story Mistake, Then There Were Five, A Spiderweb For Two. We didn't really realize that Nesbitt's WWII/post-war era books were rising 50, as there had been nothing to succeed them in the genre - we also loved The Railway Children and Louisa May Alcott's Little Women, not to mention The Little House on the Prairie series, but disliked most of the award-winning gritty children's classics depicting lonely protagonists of the '60s, '70s and '80s: Where the Red Fern Grows, Bridge to Terebithia, Jacob Have I Loved, etc. I have learned from my young relatives of two recent series, The Penderwicks and The Vanderbeekers, that are worthy successors to Nesbitt. So the 21st century has actually seen a popular revival of the siblings-as-protagonists genre in children's fiction.
I’ll look at some of these thank you !
Hope you enjoy them. I just realized my brain got children's authors mixed - it was Elizabeth Enright who wrote the Melendy Quartet, she also wrote Gone-Away Lake and Return to Gone-Away, which were just as fun.
Lovely essay! I was surprised by how much pushback Sam got for what seems to me like a pretty accurate observation about the general scope of fiction in English. Your essay reminded me of Betty Smith's Joy in the Morning, which now I'd love to re-read.
I must read that
I remember loving it, but it’s been many years!
As an only child, I used to live vicariously through books where there were multiple siblings, like the Narnia books or The Boxcar Children. It's sad to see that starting to disappear little by little, especially when you think about the imaginative worlds that children can create together.
Enid Bagnold, The Squire. It's about motherhood, a large family and giving birth. Striking because it is very unusual though. I like the Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver - but that's about someone who adopts a baby by accident. Going to be picky - I love Diana Wynne Jones' writing, but she's a writer for children, and lots of children's writers write well about children!
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