These are some principles based on the way I participate in homeschooling. My wife does the bulk of the homeschooling. Our guiding idea is that your education is your life, so I have a good amount of involvement. These principles are mostly observational. This is what I see happening as much as I what I try to achieve. (Obviously, I do not succeed at all of these on any given day.) If you have something to add, I’d be very pleased to hear it. For reference, the girl is six and the boy is four. Also, some of this might sound intense, but it’s not especially. The point is to harness the innate curiosity all children have but which school so often fails to appreciate unless it can be pursued in an orderly, timetabled, manageable, or otherwise limiting manner. (For more on curiosity, read
Thanks for writing this up Henry. It was great to read a story of bringing up kids that had real ambition. As the parent of two kids now in their twenties, we too were very ambitious — again my wife did much more than me though I at least I can say I brought in the money. My wife is a primary school teacher and she did a lot of home schooling (woops — home education) early on and lots of enrichment afterwards. They didn't go to childcare — but did go to school from grade 1 (already able to read and write to some extent). In any event, I couldn't feel better about the effort that was put in. They're just fantastic people.
A few thoughts occurred to me as I read your piece — they may be in some tension with each other.
1) I think there's a bit too much reliance on ideology in your idea of kids being 'self-directed'. I thoroughly buy into the idea that schools have it arse about and that kids should be far, far more involved in the directions they take. But something in me (though at bottom it's also ideological — just an instinct) that adults should have some role in direction. I don't mean by that anything 'soft' that adults or parents are just the 'advisors'. I expect you do that. I mean that parents might want to have some supervisory power. It's easy to misuse power I know, but I think it should be possible to push kids a bit to do things that they might not fancy but which reflect an adult's judgement that it might work out to be a good idea — might give them some grounding in something — like scales in music. But it needs to be handled with considerable care I accept. We had a teacher who put both our kids off piano by demanding lots of attention to practice and scales.
2) Your descriptions of the way you interact with your kids as a guide and teacher seem to me to come exclusively from the adult world and a very reasoned one at that. You say this:
<blockquote>If we have lunch in the park, I pass time with the story of Brunelleschi and the dome of Florence Cathedral. On a winter bus, I explain condensation. We cannot see light refracting without revising what that means. God knows how much of it goes in. More than it seems at that time, I would say, based on later recall.</blockquote>
I found this kind of thing fun and hoped it was useful too. But I also think it's worth trying to address them in their childhood. I love asking kids philosophical questions, but if I'm good enough at it, they're <i>kids</i> philosophical questions. I once asked a three year old kid why all the houses we could see have roofs on them. I still remember his answer (though this was 35 years ago). "Houses have roofs because the house needs something that wants to keep the rain out." I love that. So the ideal I think is for the kid to be teaching you more than you teach them. The adult stuff will come naturally enough, but I like to think more richly the more childhood is packed into the adult.
3) Another thing that I think was really successful — and certainly fun — was the use of irony in bringing up our kids. Kids understand irony from the time they master language because irony is just <a href="http://clubtroppo.com.au/2011/11/02/games/">being playful with meaning</a>. I have a hatred of homilies. And yet one needs to instruct kids.
So watching carefully to ensure my kids got the joke and didn't misunderstand or didn't think I was being cruel, I would impart messages by saying the opposite. I would say to my son that boys were better than girls. We'd have a good joke about it and his sister would either play at arguing at this or conspire with her mother that girls were better than boys. I'd also say to her that blue eyes were obviously better than brown eyes (the split in the family was again 2:2 but going the other way — so my daughter and I had the blue eyes). I also think this is a better way through the minefield that identity politics will become for them because it leaves a lot of room for difference. The 'messages' of equality sit deeply in the background, which is where they should be.
I have a wonderful — completely wonderful video where I ask my three year old son to give his mother the bad news — that he loves me more than her. He then prepares himself to denounce this terrible idea in no uncertain terms. But, and I only realised this after watching the video many times, he actually stops himself saying that he <doesn’t> love me more. After all, that might hurt my feelings. He's a true diplomat. So he patiently but insistently explains to his parents "I love you both the same!"
The more I read of your approach, the more I would urge you to read Charlotte Mason — a similar respect for the mind of the child but you might find some useful pointers in her thought too. This is a selfish request as I know you would write a great essay about her life.
PS. We have been catechised by homeschooling families to use the term ‘home education’, especially when trying to break free of the rigidity of school. You be the judge.
As someone with a three and a one year old who is considering non-traditional education, I really appreciated this. It sounds like your kids are getting a fabulous education. One impression I was left with is that you are very well educated yourself! I don't know if I have the knowledge to be able to teach them the breadth of subjects you seem to share with your kids. I wonder how much a parent's education determines the quality of a homeschool education...
Thanks for writing this up Henry. It was great to read a story of bringing up kids that had real ambition. As the parent of two kids now in their twenties, we too were very ambitious — again my wife did much more than me though I at least I can say I brought in the money. My wife is a primary school teacher and she did a lot of home schooling (woops — home education) early on and lots of enrichment afterwards. They didn't go to childcare — but did go to school from grade 1 (already able to read and write to some extent). In any event, I couldn't feel better about the effort that was put in. They're just fantastic people.
A few thoughts occurred to me as I read your piece — they may be in some tension with each other.
1) I think there's a bit too much reliance on ideology in your idea of kids being 'self-directed'. I thoroughly buy into the idea that schools have it arse about and that kids should be far, far more involved in the directions they take. But something in me (though at bottom it's also ideological — just an instinct) that adults should have some role in direction. I don't mean by that anything 'soft' that adults or parents are just the 'advisors'. I expect you do that. I mean that parents might want to have some supervisory power. It's easy to misuse power I know, but I think it should be possible to push kids a bit to do things that they might not fancy but which reflect an adult's judgement that it might work out to be a good idea — might give them some grounding in something — like scales in music. But it needs to be handled with considerable care I accept. We had a teacher who put both our kids off piano by demanding lots of attention to practice and scales.
2) Your descriptions of the way you interact with your kids as a guide and teacher seem to me to come exclusively from the adult world and a very reasoned one at that. You say this:
<blockquote>If we have lunch in the park, I pass time with the story of Brunelleschi and the dome of Florence Cathedral. On a winter bus, I explain condensation. We cannot see light refracting without revising what that means. God knows how much of it goes in. More than it seems at that time, I would say, based on later recall.</blockquote>
I found this kind of thing fun and hoped it was useful too. But I also think it's worth trying to address them in their childhood. I love asking kids philosophical questions, but if I'm good enough at it, they're <i>kids</i> philosophical questions. I once asked a three year old kid why all the houses we could see have roofs on them. I still remember his answer (though this was 35 years ago). "Houses have roofs because the house needs something that wants to keep the rain out." I love that. So the ideal I think is for the kid to be teaching you more than you teach them. The adult stuff will come naturally enough, but I like to think more richly the more childhood is packed into the adult.
3) Another thing that I think was really successful — and certainly fun — was the use of irony in bringing up our kids. Kids understand irony from the time they master language because irony is just <a href="http://clubtroppo.com.au/2011/11/02/games/">being playful with meaning</a>. I have a hatred of homilies. And yet one needs to instruct kids.
So watching carefully to ensure my kids got the joke and didn't misunderstand or didn't think I was being cruel, I would impart messages by saying the opposite. I would say to my son that boys were better than girls. We'd have a good joke about it and his sister would either play at arguing at this or conspire with her mother that girls were better than boys. I'd also say to her that blue eyes were obviously better than brown eyes (the split in the family was again 2:2 but going the other way — so my daughter and I had the blue eyes). I also think this is a better way through the minefield that identity politics will become for them because it leaves a lot of room for difference. The 'messages' of equality sit deeply in the background, which is where they should be.
I have a wonderful — completely wonderful video where I ask my three year old son to give his mother the bad news — that he loves me more than her. He then prepares himself to denounce this terrible idea in no uncertain terms. But, and I only realised this after watching the video many times, he actually stops himself saying that he <doesn’t> love me more. After all, that might hurt my feelings. He's a true diplomat. So he patiently but insistently explains to his parents "I love you both the same!"
Loved this, Henry. Keep em coming.
The more I read of your approach, the more I would urge you to read Charlotte Mason — a similar respect for the mind of the child but you might find some useful pointers in her thought too. This is a selfish request as I know you would write a great essay about her life.
PS. We have been catechised by homeschooling families to use the term ‘home education’, especially when trying to break free of the rigidity of school. You be the judge.
As someone with a three and a one year old who is considering non-traditional education, I really appreciated this. It sounds like your kids are getting a fabulous education. One impression I was left with is that you are very well educated yourself! I don't know if I have the knowledge to be able to teach them the breadth of subjects you seem to share with your kids. I wonder how much a parent's education determines the quality of a homeschool education...